Today Was Different.

I’ve been wanting to start a podcast for the better part of 8 years and for some reason (which I think Is self sabotage) I never got it done. Well, today, my friend Rob and I streamed the first episode of the Revolutionary Roulette Podcast. It went fucking awful. The content provided by the two of us was solid, considering this is the first time we’ve worked together in many years.

Some quick background; in 2010, Rob and I attended the Illinois Center for Broadcasting and received a “certificate” for completion of the ten month course. I finished at the top of my class which was graded by hours. Hours in studio, interning, producing, or anything related to the communications industry. All of which I did while battling severe anxiety, panic, depression, agoraphobia and substance abuse (sorry, I feel Like a broken record in every post, but this is my truth and I must speak it. No matter how repetitive it is). I would have to drink enough whisky just to leave the house to numb the panic attacks because the prescription meds aren’t working and I couldn’t receive treatment without insurance. The studio was on the corner of State Street and Harrrison in the heart of downtown Chicago. It wasn’t healthy, but I refused to drop out of the school because it felt like I was giving power to my problems.

Rob and I did an internet radio show on for two years and a few fantasy football podcasts in the past, but nothing with what I consider value or substance. The cost of this ten month, bullshit course where they insisted that they would assist you in finding work in the industry was 15k. All I gained out of that place was an unrelenting anger towards it and my friend Rob. This is the first time writing about this shit hole, so I hope this is what I need to get it out of my frontal and into my past, forever. Time will tell.

So, tonight we did it, The Revolutionary Roulette podcast, Youtube channel, Twitch, and Patreon. The Podcast was started with the idea of going back and discussing howard Zinns book A People’s History of the United States. With the not so recent events of the Trump presidency, unarmed killing of minorities and especially black men, the two party system and how it is actually a facade to hide corporate involvement throughout. Because of the issues, we both felt compelled to educate ourselves as to how to become a part of the solution and educate  as many people as possible as to the ACTUAL history of events that shaped this country, not the white washed version we were taught in school.

I have fifteen nieces and nephews, none of which are blood, (but that’s even better considering my blood type), but those of friends that have become family. Six of which are minorities. Everything I’m involving myself with these days is to better myself and those around me, or try to make this place better for the kids who have no choice but to live in it. I love them with all my heart and It doesn’t mean I care for them more than my white Nieces and nephews, it just means that I know that there is going to be a special set of circumstances each one of the minority children will have to encounter that their white counterparts will have no understanding of until they are older. White Privilege is real, and I don’t understand how some people choose to argue this fact, but that’s why I’m grabbing my mic and using my small platform to educate those who are ignorant or willfully ignorant of their surroundings. Like all teachers and people who put themselves out there by offering their voice, I don’t have all the answers, but what I do have is a willingness to seek them for the betterment of myself and those around me.

I will get more into the topic of race relations in a post not so far off, but tonight, I was compelled to celebrate the fact that I was able to get over the hump. Take the first step. Do what needs to be done to reach a goal. All of which have eluded me for forty years. I took that step and I got punched right in the teeth tonight. Our video streams were choppy and nonexistent, our editing was unavailable and even though I’ve read the book, I was unable to outline how I wanted the show to go because of putting twenty plus hours in the last three night troubleshooting. Did I mention I went to a school that was supposed to teach me all of this/ #$&^%%^$&^$*^%*&^!!!!!!

In conclusion, my BP is through the roof right now, but I stand before you proud. Proud that tomorrow I get to take my second step, and not sit back and wonder anymore what might have been If I would have just given it my all. 

P.s. if you’re tech savvy and have advice or can explain how to link some streams and cameras for multiple streaming platforms, please, reach out. Thanks.

One Love.


4 thoughts on “Today Was Different.

  1. Maybe you need to start small on this “podcast” and use the Anchor app. It’s what I used w/ students. I hear you on the race issues. I was fortunate in high school to take a class called “Minorities,” which was taught from the pint of view of several groups not white. Yet I didn’t realize what I learned wasn’t the norm for a long time. I read “Between the World and Me” in 2015 and began reading a lot of books by POC. I recently finished “Caste” by Isabelle Wilkerson and am reading “The Antiracist Writer’s Workshop,” obviously a professional book. I think it’s important for white people to read the works of black and Native American scholars. In your post you use the word “minorities.” Have you read any analysis of that word? I think of the word as analogous to the Mercator map. Lastly, $15k is a hell of a lot of money to spend on a ten-month course.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. You took a step in the right direction. Failure is proof that you are trying. But I wouldn’t call what you did failure. What’s the worst that could happen if you re-recorded the first episode and tried again? Take some time to plan out the bare bones of what you want to say. I have no podcast advice other than call that expensive school and ask them for feedback on what students are using today to make this kind of thing happen.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

Create your website with
Get started
%d bloggers like this: