You know what happens when you test someone out of the blue that we love them and that they are special to us? No. Who gives a sh*t that it makes them feel loved, warm and fuzzy and stuff?! It’s the next reaction that is the head scratcher. They immediately text back something along the lines of , “are you okay?” We put off telling our loved ones so infrequently, that when we do , they immediately think something is wrong with us. That is messed up.
I’m originally from a town named Crete, Illinois where I have attended over thirty funerals for classmates within three years up or down that have died. From suicide to murder. From drug overdoses to finding out you have a peanut allergy after you order. It is unbelievable how much this occurs in this town. Most of the thirty have been friends, Some of which, damn near brothers or sisters. But all were acquaintances that were tragically taken before their time. I have a prayer card collection that would make you sick to your stomach.
Besides the fact we’re losing loved ones left and right, most of the community I have spoken with agave become numb in a certain way to death. That’s not how it should be. We should be numb with joy because of the celebrations of life’s accomplishments such as having children, getting married, and the length of sobriety being praised. But these everyday tasks that we all take for granted from time to time, are being sacrificed at far too great a rate.
Shit, some of us only see each other at wakes and funerals which in and of itself is disappointing. But life happens around us at an abrupt pace, Right? Bullshit! We make time for the people and things we love. I’m just as guilty of this as most, so i’m not pointing fingers, but I have made a conscious effort to let those in my life know exactly what they mean to me.
If you’re not speaking with someone because of a spat or a beef, be honest about it. Break it down. “ I love you too much to let this go on, so we are going to have this talk now. I am upset with you for this, this and this. What do you have to say?” And then, the most important part for both sides is LISTEN! You don’t always have to have a reply. Just be there.
Don’t wait to throw a bouquet at the feet of a loved one and all of a sudden it becomes too late.
I hope those of you who this post struck a chord with find peace in the memories of the good times and experiences that were had with loved ones before they took their journeys to the unknown.